THE GOBLIN DIARIES

Prologue

Are you ready to embark on an epic journey through the fantastical world of Warhammer? Join me as I document my quest to build an awe-inspiring Orc and Goblins Army, chronicled through the pages of the infamous "Goblin Diaries".

With years of effort ahead, this project will take us on an exciting adventure as we delve into the world of Warhammer Fantasy. The army will be known as the Bloody Spears, a tribe of opportunistic goblins that have taken over the treacherous mount Gunbad to the East of the World Edge mountains.

But that's not all - they also have a hidden camp to the west of the mountains, where they launch surprise attacks on the besieged Dwarf convoys traveling along the old Silver Road. Known for their cunning tactics and deep-seated hatred for the Dwarfs, the Bloody Spears are led by the cunning Warboss Zazaz, who has a particular interest in uncovering ancient Dwarfen ruins and their hidden treasures.

Join me on this journey as we watch the Goblin army grow in strength, ambition, and power, and as we witness the Bloody Spearzs' ultimate goal of conquering the nearby territories around their dark home. This will be a journey full of twists, turns, and unexpected dangers, but one thing is certain - the Goblin Diaries will keep us on the edge of our seats, eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

The bloody spearzs lair

Chapter I: The bouncing bunch

Skilka, the curious goblin, watched from a safe distance as the Squig Hoppers charged towards the unsuspecting human settlement of Zenres. He couldn't help but marvel at the sheer lunacy of the Bloody Spearzs, as they rode their squigs straight into the town without a care in the world.

As the goblin riders wreaked havoc on the town, Skilka watched with a mixture of awe and amusement. He giggled as one of the squigs bounced towards the Town Crier and bit his arm off, sending the poor bastard running for his life.

Skilka couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement at the prospect of a good fight. He knew that the Bloody Spearzs were a rowdy bunch, but he couldn't help but admire their fearlessness and ferocity.

Squig Hopers launching an attack on Zenres

As the sun began to set and the Bloody Spearzs celebrated their victory with copious amounts of booze and loot, Skilka remained hidden in the forest, his mind racing with the possibilities of what was to come. He knew that there would be more battles to be fought, and he couldn't wait to see what the future held for his goblin brethren.

CHAPTER II: GOBLINS, BEER…AND FLATULENCE

The Night Goblins, known for their mischievous ways, wasted no time in ransacking the town's supply of beer and wine. 

Night goblins with moderation issues

Amidst the chaos, an unexpected turn unfolded. A Night Goblin, notorious for his flatulent prowess, found himself appointed as the group's musician. With each cheeky fart, his flatulence served as an oddly satisfying musical backdrop to the raid. 

Our inspired farting music to the left

Meanwhile, the perpetually frustrated group boss struggled to impose any semblance of order. Goblins guzzled beer straight from casks, danced in wild abandon, and stumbled upon a particularly potent weed that turned their mischief into fits of giggles. As expected, a drinking competition ensued, goblins collapsing in a chaotic contest of resilience and inebriation.

Booze for everybody!

The night became a canvas of disorder, painted by the broken Spearz tribe with the echoes of flatulence and childish giggles. Zenres, once a tranquil haven, now echoed with the chaotic laughter of goblins on a rampage.

As the Bloody Spears drank their fill and revelled in their conquest, Skilka cast a mischievous glance back at the now-desolate Zenres. His heart swelled with the satisfaction of having orchestrated mayhem. The Night Goblins stumbled away, pockets clinking with stolen loot, leaving behind a town forever scarred by the invasion of the Bloody Spears.